i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
