the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
BRING THE BAGELS
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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