His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
