last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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