After last night, I could never be a politician.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
