She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
