; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I had to cum in my sink.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
