In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
