I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
