I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
