Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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