Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
