ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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