The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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