naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Randomize
