is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
