Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
