Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
