Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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