Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
