Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
