What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
