Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize