Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
