I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
