She's JV to your varsity
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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