I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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