brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
