guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
