how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
