Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
