I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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