super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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