D3 body, D1 cock
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
