i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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