just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
