can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
