Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
