Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Even my vagina gasped.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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