i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
