I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
