The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
