I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
