Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
