also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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