and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
