apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
