hell yes lets make some ravioli
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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