1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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