we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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