I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
