i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
