I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
