College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
