Just fell off a train. Bad.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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