dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
