More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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