looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize