He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize