You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
