I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
