Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
