she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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