New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
