I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He felt like a one man threesome
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
